When I ran as the Parliamentary candidate for an east London constituency in the 2019 General Election, I had no idea what I was in for. Maybe I was naïve. I was expecting some robust feedback about being a Conservative in a historically left-leaning area, but I genuinely hadn't considered I would receive so much abuse based on the color of my skin.
As a child living in a predominantly white area of England during the '80s, I did occasionally receive racist abuse from other children. But for most of my adult life, I could count the number of times I experienced racism on one hand.
So, when I began to experience abuse online, it felt like a real gut punch to be told my right-wing political views only existed to serve white people. All I was doing was standing up for what I believe in, which happens to be aligned with the Conservative Party. It's not exactly outrageous to agree with one of the two mainstream political parties in Britain.
I grew up in south-west London and wasn't brought up in a family where I was expected to think a certain way because of the color of my skin. My dad always taught me I could be anything I wanted to be and do whatever I set my mind to. It was completely alien to me to be told I was behaving in the wrong way purely because I wasn't white.
My parents were not massively politically active but they both voted for the Conservative Party and I was brought up with conservative values. I don't think that necessarily shaped my political views, but it certainly had an influence.
After leaving university I joined the British Army in 2004. The army is a very apolitical organization. So, despite the fact I was on operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, the political rationale behind it was not something I focused on or really questioned.
As an Army Officer you find yourself in a cycle of training and preparing for operations, going on those operations and then coming back and recovering. So there wasn't really a huge amount of time to think about the political ramifications, despite the importance those decisions ultimately have on the way the Army operates.
After nine years in the military I joined the private sector. I had the opportunity to become more politically engaged and later became deputy chairman of my local Conservative Association in London's Hornsey and Wood Green. I focused my attention on the issues which were important to me and those I felt needed to be addressed in east London, where I was standing.
When the 2019 election came around, I knew that I was unlikely to have vast amounts of support. The Conservative Party's main political objective at the time was getting Brexit done. This wasn't something likely to resonate with my electorate, so I wanted to focus on more local issues.
For example, Hackney in east London is an area that, historically, is not very wealthy, but is one where house prices have accelerated in the past twenty years, so addressing the ability of younger people to be able to get on the housing ladder was something I was particularly passionate about.
I was very conscious that I was unlikely to get a hugely positive reception in large parts of the constituency. That's par for the course when you're fighting for a seat you're not expecting to win.
I was expecting some nasty things might be said to me, but very much the typical abuse you would expect Conservative candidates to get. For example being compared to a Nazi or a fascist. Or being called "Tory scum." I wasn't expecting to be targeted purely because of the color of my skin.
I believe there is a school of thought among some prominent left-wing campaigners that, despite the increasing number of senior Conservative MPs with ethnic minority backgrounds, the party is racist.
This is a view exacerbated by some left-wing campaigners online, and the trolls I generally receive abuse from. The slurs I receive generally fit into one of about twenty formats. On the softer end of the scale, I regularly get referred to as a "token" or a "sell out." I sometimes get referred to as a "coconut" or as a "c**n."
I get called a "house n*****" in reference to 19th century slaves who were given preferential treatment because they were willing to suck up to the white plantation owner. I'm also sent images of enslaved black characters from popular culture. Once, I was sent a GIF of daffy duck tap dancing, to illustrate that I exist purely for entertainment of white people and am not to be taken seriously.
The first time it happened to me it was genuinely shocking. I had retweeted and replied to a tweet from a left-wing commentator calling the Conservative Party racist. I was in disagreement, saying I would not stand for a political party which I believed was racist.
It blew up. I had no idea this kind of vitriol existed. I had to put my phone away and delete the app for a couple of days, because it was just an onslaught of racist messages and retweets. There were hundreds of abusive messages. I was so taken aback I couldn't even bring myself to read them all.
I thought there was a small chance I may receive some racist abuse from some white people, but it happens so rarely that it wasn't something I was expecting or apprehensive about. Yet as I looked at the abuse I was receiving, in the vast majority of instances, the people sending these messages were also Black.
According to some, there is supposedly a "right" way to be Black. A belief that those who are Black should have left-leaning political views, meaning those who hold a different view are targeted.
I was shocked and appalled. I had never considered that there was a racial dynamic to my political views. Racism in politics was something that I had never experienced, despite supposedly being a member of a "racist" political party. I was taken aback by the level of vitriol and the hatred that came across in the tweets I was being sent.
It is an extremely blinkered view to believe that all Black people must think the same and have the same beliefs. I was just doing what I thought was best for my community, and there I was being described as a race traitor. Having been in the military, being referred to as a traitor in any context is quite galling and for people to say it because I didn't think in the same way as them, was completely bizarre to me.
I suspect that for some online trolls I am simply an easy target. There are comparatively few Black Conservatives, fewer still with an online profile. Abuse typically goes unpunished and, in my view, the volume of it serves to "legitamize" it in a way.
Part of the problem is that this type of abuse rarely gets called out. I remember watching a breakfast television programme recently and I heard the phrase "Uncle Tom," being used. This is a slur used to describe a Black person who is subservient to white people. It was used by a Black campaigner to insult another Black guest during a debate about blackface. Both of the hosts were white and neither challenged the use of the phrase.
I thought it was an absolutely outrageous thing to be said on mainstream television and it went completely unchecked during the broadcast. I don't know if people don't understand the context of certain phrases, or if white people feel awkward over challenging Black people for saying certain things because they don't want to come across as racist.
People aren't always going to agree with me. I understand that, but you shouldn't be abused because your views aren't seen to be acceptable to a small minority. Since 2019, this type of abuse has been a regular occurrence. It happens to me in plain sight on social media. At first it was a case of sticks and stones, but now I've had so much that I'm slightly numb to it.
I would obviously prefer it if this abuse didn't happen, but I'm not going to stop being who I am or saying what I believe in because some people decided my views are not suitable for someone with my skin color.
If anything it reaffirms my beliefs and makes me more committed to stand up for what I believe is right. I'm more than happy to fight, and die, on this hill on behalf of all the other people who receive this kind of abuse.
The original article was published in Newsweek on 26th July 2022
